By now, of course, the other components of heartache will gradually have faded: you will no longer feel you need the other, just as a drug addicts who haven’t used for a long time no longer need their drug. Sometimes, a place, a tune, a scent will stir the memory of the loved ones, you will feel a sudden rush of neediness and your friends will notice a momentary lapse in your concentration. They will have the impression from looking at your face that you are passing through an invisible cloud.
Some people will understand and quickly try to distract you or lead you away, in the same way that you avoid leaving a recovering alcoholic in front of a bar for too long. In fact, you will became like those alcoholics who manage to overcome their addiction by drinking only water, but who confess that their lives were more intense, more colorful, more fun when alcohol was their companion. You may confess to being bored with your life now, an the truth is sometimes you will make quite dull company, while still being peasant enough.
The fifth component’s only advantage is that it will enable you to deal more calmly with life’s everyday adversities and upsets, like a sailor who has braved the Roaring Forties and keeps his cool in a squall that would make other men tremble. So that is one reassuring thought, which you will be at pains to cultivate: what happened between you and the loved one will eventually have made you a stronger and calmer, and you will even end up believing ib the value of this calmness, achieved at great costs, until the moment when a place, a tune, a scent….
Hector and the secrets of love – Francois Lelord